I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
