come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
