oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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