and i looked up. we had an audience...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
