Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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