Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
