just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
