ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
