Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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