now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
