Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
this will be a night to untag.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
