Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
