I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
