we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
