This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize