You're completely useless in the revolution.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
