Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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