He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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