Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I puked a lego.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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