also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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