I heard we made out
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize