He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize