in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
People in love make me want to vomit
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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