Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
