hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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