I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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