I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
