speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
