We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
