i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
