i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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