I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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