I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
