I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
