I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
