If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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