Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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