She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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