I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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