i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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