? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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