I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
