i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
