Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
