I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
