I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
