things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
