But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
my poor anus
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
