I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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