So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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