I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think people are normalizing furries
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize