R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Buhtt sex?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
