Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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