I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
