did you get engaged???
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she told me i tasted like america
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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