it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
