I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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