I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
