i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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