Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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