so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
