And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
