Whod you bang
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
