So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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