I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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